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05/03/2002 entry: "need coffeeeee"

okay, so i've been thinking. maybe over the summer i should offer to do some website design for anyone who needs something done. not like i'll get anybody, but you know it's an idea. i'd have to develop a plan now though. like set up a webpage for it and get it on search engines.

i just want to do some random projects, but i don't really have the time or energy to do it right now. i did help out kevin with the new sooperfriends design. but i didn't have to do a whole lot... but yeah. i should think about that.

i did start designing a website for my art portfolio, maybe i can make it a page off of that? hmm yeah.

so if anyone out there needs any sort of artwork or design done for a website this summer, let me know. hell, if it's something small let me know now.

uh oh. it's that no doubt video. for "hella good". i know i'm lame, but... i kind of like this song. and the video has soom good imagery in it. i still don't like gwen all that much. but the video is all black and white, and some of the images are just really cool... ugh. i'm such a dork.

but i guess i should go to bed. i'm kinda tired i guess,... i dunno.

oh, and it was funny.. i got my latest drawing critiqued a bit today. i don't know if i talked about it in here, but it's chalk pastels on velour paper, and the picture has a glass of water and a few bluish pills in the foreground on a table, and then a bed behind them with a pinkish pillow and turqoise-ish blanket. anyhow, people did comment on the mood of the drawing, so i did kind of get that across. but they weren't clear on what the mood exactly was. someone guessed insomnia. not quite, although that's a good logical guess. it was actually characterizing my own personal depression. when i'm depressed, i just want to sleep. because when i'm asleep, i don't have to deal with the real world. surely you understand. anyhow, i have a bottle of tylenol pm. and the night i came up with the idea, i took one for some kind of pain before bed, i forget what it was. so yeah i was just sitting there looking at these blue pills. if i ever got incredibly, horribly depressed.. i might just take a bunch and sleep for a while. i wouldn't kill myself with them but... to not kill myself would take some prior knowledge of tylenol pm. but yeah, i don't think i'll ever get to quite that point. i'll probably just be a normal person and have a drink when i get depressed. ha. normal. a normal alcoholic. naw, i won't be an alcoholic. even though some people might think i would be. see, i have a limit. i don't believe in getting drunk. i think it's dumb. i don't want to drink so much that i get sick, or do something stupid, or feel horrible in the morning. that's just dumb. and i've done fine so far. even when i am 21, i have a feeling i'll be just fine.

so yeah. bedtime for me.

i wish i talked to melisa more. she's graduating at the end of this year. and i'm so socially retarded, i never really say much during the 5 minutes or so that i do see her... well usually anyhow. blah. i'm going to bed.