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05/10/2002 entry: "objects fall, people leave"

So I was kind of productive today. I packed some stuff away to bring home on Saturday. It's going to rain Saturday. yuck.

I also started on my next drawing. It's coming along alright, I suppose. I also studied. Which... I kind of had to do, seeing as my test is tomorrow. Ugh. I'll probably be alright as long as I study enough tonight, but I'm always afraid I'll think I'm prepared, and he'll ask questions I totally can't bullshit my way through. So yeah. But this class isn't too tough. I should at least pass.

I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, but I wasn't too tired I guess. Hm. I felt like the end of the week happened on Wednesday, but then today came and my mind was like, "What the hell just happened? Did I miss a week or something?" Although I think I had some strange dreams. I know Kevin was in there somewhere, but I can't remember what was going on. The only thing I remember now is that some guy I knew gave me a bunch of stuff to look at. I don't remember why. It was for a reason though. Anyhow, I guess he gave me this.. book. Like a journal I guess. I don't know if he meant to or not. Anyhow, I read it, because I thought I was supposed to, and I kept seeing things about me in there. Good things. Things that gave me the distinct impression that he felt something more than a friendship for me. But I think I know why I had that dream, it was because Wednesday night Kevin and I were talking about how we sometimes think people like us, even for no good reason. So I had a dream about a friend having some sort of feelings for me. I also keep wanting to say in another part of the dream that Kevin, some other people and I were outside somewhere. But dammit, I can't remember.

Well, I guess I should go back to studying. I think I'm hungry though first. Sara hasn't come online tonight, maybe some other time. But we're trying to make plans for next weekend. This weekend will be busy busy busy. Going home, writing a rough draft of a paper, finishing my drawing, then Mother's Day... which reminds me, I have to finish getting my Mom's present ready.

Man, I can't believe this year is almost over. People are right; The older you get, the faster time goes by. It's crazy. I'm going to be a Junior soon. And then a Senior. Then I graduate. And then... who knows what. Hell, who knows what's going to happen Junior and Senior year for that matter. But after I graduate... I just don't know. Find another school wherever Kevin wants to live to get my Masters degree at. Get a job? I don't know.

Pressure's high, and I like to hyperventilate and pass out.