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05/21/2002 entry: "I = Buffy nerd."

If you've never believed me when I said I was a Buffy nerd before, check this out.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

EEEEE!

Yes, this is literally what I was doing just 5 seconds ago. Watch out if you haven't watched the season finale, because this will spoil it for you. Willow was all evil, and had just knocked out Buffy and Anya and was going to kill Andrew and whatsisname. She said something like, "Now no one can stop me" and then this ball of magic comes out of NO WHERE and they show GILES standing in the door.... HOLY CRAP! AHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! OHMYGOD

Okay I'll try to stop using caps. But fucking hell, you have NO idea how great this is!!! I'm squealing and trying to stifle myself but it's soooo hard. GAH season finales are so great. AUGH this is just... it's great and excrutiating at the same time because there's another hour to go still... and plus I mean, there's going to be something left hanging. RAHR.

I'm just so shocked that Giles is back. And I don't know how this is going to end, but it's... it's going to be great no matter what. Yeah, I'm such a huge dork. I guess I'm not as bad as I was in the past, but it's still pretty bad. Yeah, but I was definitely worse. That was when I wasn't entirely sure.. well, I don't know how to put it. I guess just that I let it become partially my life, partially my world. I let myself get really pulled in because lord knows I didn't really want to be here. And that was the first TV show in my generation with witchcraft, ghosts, vampires, the occult.. everything. Everything that I wanted to be a part of. How could I not have gotten pulled in so far? I always thought, at least if I lived in that world, I'd have somewhere to belong. Yeah, they may not have been the popular ones at their school, but they had something so much more important and much better than that. And that's all I wanted. To belong somewhere and have something important that I lived to do. Hm. Somehow it doesn't sound so different from where I am now in some ways. Maybe that's why it's affecting me in this way again? I don't know. Yeah I'm not entirely sure what this is all about. I guess I just have to let myself enjoy it while I can. In half an hour, no more new Buffy til fall. Although I'll always have the reruns.

Okay, I'll stop this madness now.