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07/27/2002 entry: "Musical epiphany"

I think I finally realized how much I don't like people who are super obsessed with bands. It's pretty.. silly if you look at it a certain way. I used to do that, and I may still do that.. hopefully not. But it's pretty embarrassing. You can sincerely love a band that much, but don't say those gay things. You know what I'm talking about. Pretty much anything with the words "Rock your ___ off", "Dude", or things like "kewl" or "rawk"... yeah. Things like that. I can't think of excellent examples at the moment since I'm a little tired. But the feeling's there.

Like, I love Liz Janes. Tons. But hopefully it won't get to the point where I act... stupidly about it. I keep thinking of ways to say it, but they don't apply all the time and they don't say it the way I really want to say it. So, fuck it. My final word on the matter is for all people who are in whatever category I'm trying to describe, Grow Up.

Anyhow. Tomorrow will be fun. First, hair cut. Then, get hammered for the rest of the day and hope I don't do anything stupid. Well.. not quite. But I hopefully won't be doing any driving for the rest of the day. Hey, if it helps me deal with my relatives, more power to that Hard Lemonade. That hard hard lemonade. I.. think I really need to sleep, I'm saying incredibly stupid things.

Hm maybe I'll try the Hard Iced Tea tomorrow too. My mom said it was good.

I swear I'm not an alcoholic, I drink responsibly and intelligently. I even make sure I eat something before I drink now, because the last time I had a wine cooler on an empty stomach, let's just say I was a little surprised at how quickly it took effect. I never get too far beyond buzzed, it's just that it happened fast and it was informative and a good learning experience.

I was wrong to put you up there
With a ton of dead heroes
And a ton of dead songs
But you came to me like a casual dream
Slow to begin, put a smile on my skin
Got a head full of new ideas
I got music bleeding from my ears
And people who believe in me
I got miles and miles of things to see
And nothing relates to you and me

Yeah, I can't help it I actually like that one Leona Naess song. It's very... not something you'd think I would like and probably something Kevin would definitely not like. But then again, I also semi like that one No Doubt song and still have some slightly embarrassing CDs that I still occasionally listen to (i.e. Powerman 5000.. yeah.) But I like those lyrics that I posted.

Then, of course, I listen to something like Huggy Bear. Have you heard of Huggy Bear? They're great. I thought they were something no one had heard of. But oh I was wrong. They toured with Bikini Kill in the early 90's and were kind of doing the riot grrl / art rock thing overseas. I love bands from England. I guess it's that whole accent thing. The English accent may or may not be my favorite. I haven't decided. I like casual Southern accents too though. Southern and English are maybe my two favorite. Well, anyhow. My point was, Huggy Bear is great. They even toured with bands like Sonic Youth, Pavement and Blur. Who all supposedly loved Huggy Bear as well.

So it's the riot grrl music and the accents that really make me like them. I'm getting one of their albums. And I'm trying to get one of their out of print older ones that has a bunch of songs I like on it. Damn I want it. I can get it off Ebay on a 10" but I'd much rather have a CD. Damn me not being born like a decade earlier. Course, then I'd be almost 30 now. Hmm. But my statement stands. I really wish I was older during the late 80's / early 90's to REALLY get into the whole grunge, indie and riot grrl periods. My god I would explode with joy. Instead, I was into stupid pop music :( Do you know how cool I would have been if I were like 10 years old and buying Pixies, Huggy Bear, Bikini Kill, Nirvana, Pavement, etc etc. Of course, I did get into Nirvana when I was... well, around 11 or 12. It was right around the time that Kurt committed suicide. So, yeah, 11 or 12. And I started listening to Hole around.. 13 maybe. 12 or 13. I was only a fraction cool. Otherwise I was listening to more popular shit, B96, etc. I started listening to alternative music though mid-junior high. And I had been listening to loads of classic rock and oldies and I'm grateful for that, although I don't know how cool it makes me.

But I have weaknesses for Creedence Clearwater Revival, Fleetwood Mac, and Peter Gabriel. That = semi cool, right? Maybe.

Uh... anyways, this has gone on long enough. I'm hurting and I want to stop and go to bed. So I'm going to do that.