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09/12/2002 entry: "Still nervous."

I guess it was silly of me to expect them to write me back tonight. But I keep compulsively checking my email, thinking maybe a message will be there. I have to remember, they have to wait til tomorrow anyhow to get in all the other applications.

Ha.. I just remembered, my journal was one of the sites I listed for them to look at. Hmm. Well, maybe my enthusiasm and excitement will give me an advantage over the other applicants? :D

Well, since I have this thing about being really honest in my journal, I'll just forget about someone accidentally seeing me being so human and not hiring me when they find out. I really want this job. There aren't many things I've really truly wanted in life. Well,.. let's not ever count to see how accurate my estimation is. But, I've never wanted a job like this before EVER. The bookstore job this summer was all about money. I wouldn't have cared too much if they rejected me. The job at the library at school I did sort of want, and I would have been a bit upset if they hadn't hired me. But I would have found a job somewhere else probably and things would have been fine. My job at the library at home? I couldn't get anything else. I did sort of want it, but it wasn't my lifelong dream.

This, I really want. I think it's going to be a hard blow if I don't get hired. Although, that's life for you right? One hard blow after another. Not that it would devastate me (give me a little credit!) but you know, I'd be disappointed. I've tried to get two non-paying website "jobs" and the two people just kind of blew me off. Shows what kind of people they are. Both, musicians. That figures.

So, we wait. Cross your fingers for me, guys.