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10/21/2002 entry: "And there's no one to blame but yourself"

Tonight, I was finally able to say to myself,

"Yeah, I will find somebody else who can love me for who I am. And at least all of this has made me a better person."

And you know that Simpsons episode, where Homer does the Christmas parade after giving all his dirty dirty money to the toy store? Marge tells Bart and Lisa they can hold their heads high, and when they straighten their necks, they're cracking and whatnot. The two of them are marveling at how they can see the sky and how they never knew what it was like to hold their heads up. Well, I had my own reality based version, I kind of straightened up because I noticed I was slouching, and my back cracked. It was funny in that context.

I also remarked to myself, "Hey tomorrow's Friday.." and then realized it was Monday instead. Ugh. Mondays suck. But, at least I have a couple things to look forward to this week.

I just kind of don't want to work in Acquisitions tomorrow. I always hope they're going to need me at the circulation desk.. it's so strange, how I used to absolutely hate working that desk, and loved working downstairs. Working downstairs is still cool in its own way, but it's not as fantastic as it used to be. Maybe I'm just a little bored because I do the same things all the time. Eh, oh well.

Sara and I were talking today about Europe. She was going to go on this trip to Italy one of her classes was doing, this coming summer. But she might not have the money by then, and I told her, you know you can always go there with friends once you do have the money. And so, she said "so will you go to Europe with me darling? some day?" and I of course said yes. So, maybe in a year or two I'll be able to regale you all with tales of the Sara and Rachel Adventures: Taking Europe with Us. That would be pretty rad. Of course, I'd absolutely have to stop in London and see Michael :) I told him someday I would end up in Europe and that I'd visit. Plus, then we'd have an insider that could tell us all the neat places to go. Not just touristy places, places that the two of us would actually be really interested in seeing or experiencing. We can get drinks or something, somewhere :) It would be fun.

Well, my night has almost drawn to a close. I'm going to scope out some upcoming concerts that I can maybe rope Chris into going to. Or, that he can rope me into going to :) Whatever the case may be. I generally don't like going to shows in winter, but maybe before the snow sets in we can get something together. That's another rad thing I'm looking forward to.

Gah, the term is half over. I just realized that. Where did it all go? I have no clue.

Okay, end transmission.