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10/26/2002 entry: "aaaaaaahhhhhhhh"

I was really looking forward to today. It didn't turn out how I expected, but that's business as usual.

We ended up just going back to our respective homes after sitting in the coffeehouse til 11pm.

I really don't know what they expected, I guess no one believes me when I explain how the western suburbs are?

Not that I'd expect any downtown coffeehouses to be that much different, to be honest. Slightly different. Maybe more pretentious. Definitely more people there. Maybe more pretentious people there.. I hate people who think they're better than you are for being more "artsy" or "indie" or whatever scene they're trying to be a part of. Fuck that shit.

I don't know how much of an impact this will have on me, but I thought today that a good ideal in life to have is instead of avoiding environments you don't like, and running away from things, it's better to try and change them so that you do fit in them. Not completely change them, because that's selfish and ridiculous. Just, change it enough so that you feel a part of it.

Anyhow, I have a semi-headache right now, and I am tired, so I'm going to stop waiting up for Sara and go to bed. She's probably in bed anyhow.

We've fallen back one hour, officially. Yay, an extra hour of sleep. Fingers crossed that I a) have good dream or b) don't remember my dreams.

Oh yeah, I did get my coat. I'll post a picture up here some day if I remember to take one of it.

Tomorrow, home. Tonight, trying not to think about certain things that keep popping up in my mind that are stupid to think about since all they do is torture me. Sometimes I wonder if I want to be more miserable. Most of the time, I think that when I'm already doing not-so-great, I'm just more susceptible to this stuff.

This is my favorite disease
I am sleeping in his dreams.
And the TV is on,
It is seeping into me.
It is only 3,
So it's Jeopardy.

You can go and burst my tiny bubble,
Blow me off without a care,
But I am sleeping where I want to.

This is my favorite time.
I can sleep until the phone rings,
And I doubt that it will.

You can go and burst my tiny bubble,
Blow me off without a care,
But I am sleeping where I want to.