[previous entry: "Umm.."] [main index] [next entry: "Again?"]

11/08/2002 entry: "So, I freaked out"

Raindrops keep falling on my head.. but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red, la la la la la, la...

So, tonight was interesting. Sara and I just went to the 24 hour IHOP by my house for a while. There were some local teenagers in there, nothing too annoying but nothing too interesting either.

Ohh boy. Then, later on, two guys came in and sat at the table next to us.. I was facing it, Sara's back was to it. Then I saw a girl come and sit with them and I'll be damned if it wasn't this girl I went to school with.. not high school. Grade school and junior high. A girl that I have quite a spotted past with, to say the least. I didn't say anything to her, she didn't say anything to me, if she saw me. I just talked about it to Sara.. I hope she didn't hear. When we got up to leave, she didn't look at me or anything, she was leaning on her hand kind of facing towards the other people at the table, away from me.. Whether that was on purpose or not, I have no clue.

I'm not going to get into the details of my past with this girl, but let's just say I don't remember ending on terribly good terms in 8th grade. So, I had a weird reaction to this.. when I saw her, my body immediately reacted. I was incredibly tense in my stomach and chest. My hands started shaking. I immediately craved certain chemicals to soothe my nervousness. So, though I didn't want any more coffee, I instantly poured myself another cup and gulped down a bunch. It was so weird. Like.. I don't think I felt anything really emotional connected to her. It wasn't emotional tension or nervousness. It's not like I think she's going to do anything to me, or hurt me anymore, or whatever. And if she did, I know that I would just pass it off as her being a bitch. It was more like a physiological response that my body had. I know I always have physical responses when I'm very emotional, but this was more mechanical. No emotion, just reaction to a physical stimulus. It was strange, and I was taken aback. I had a bit of an emotional response, but only because of the shaking and the tension.. not the other way around. Like it usually is. It's curious, and I'd like to think about it some more, but I'm really tired and I have to get up at 8am tomorrow. Ick.

Oh yeah-- I did get those batteries for my mouse. And some cheap AA batteries for my digital camera. I mean, they're Energizer, but I go them for a good price. 2.99. Yup.

I also got a bunch of soda so I don't have to get it Sunday and lug it AND other groceries upstairs. Yuck.

Well, I hope everyone else had a fun Thursday. Now, here comes the weekend... where I get absolutely nothing done.

I think Saturday Sara and I are going downtown. With whoever else wants to come. Unless we go tomorrow. No, Saturday's better for her. Maybe Alex will want to go if we doesn't have anything else, but I'm sure she's probably busy. That's okay. She's welcome to come though. So's anyone else who's interested. I imagine we'll be around the alley, unless I can convince Sara and whoever else to look for a couple cafes I've heard about. Uncommon Ground is supposed to be great, with the best open mics in Chicago. There are a couple others that seem popular. No Exit? Or Exit? Or something like that. And.. I forget the other one. Chase Cafe? Does that sound right? Hm.

But that's it for tonight kids. Have good weekends if you don't read this / I don't post (Ha!) before tomorrow night. Find some fun, be safe and if you see me around somewhere give me a hug cause I always can use one. <3