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04/19/2003 entry: "Uhh.. I heard a thump."

So, it's 2:30 in the morning here at the Hoover house. Sara just left about a half hour ago. We had a fun night. Barnes and Noble for books for school, IHOP for late night food, playing Xbox games and watching the end of Pet Sematary.

It sometimes sucks going to familiar places around here.. because I think about times when Kevin and I have gone here or there, things that happened at those places, etc. I feel like I want to say something more about my thoughts and emotions, but on the other hand it's private. And let's face it, this journal is anything but private. I think that's why I keep saying I miss him so many times. Because there are certain special details that are only for me and/or him to know.

But I am so tired right now. I just want to go to sleep. Tomorrow I plan on going to Kohl's for some summer clothes (since they're having a big sale), and then maybe out to get something for my family for Easter. I feel like a bum not getting them SOMETHING. Maybe I'm not as enthusiastic about Easter as I used to be when I was younger, but that doesn't mean I can't spend a bit of money on something nice for my family.

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can't hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

I just had that song in my head for no reason. I don't really know where it came from, I didn't hear it today or anything. Hm.

I gotta go to bed. I'm just sitting here staring at the screen wondering, "If I even could type and explain what I'm thinking, should I?" I guess these are the things people like me have to think about sometimes. But I don't even think my mind is expressable at this point, so no need to worry about the shoulds.