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05/09/2003 entry: "Bedtime story"

Once there was this very confused girl. She had good friends, her whole life ahead of her and things that made her happy. Most of the time. She wasn't happy all the time, because of how confused she was about one particular thing. There was something she wanted, or at least wanted to try, but the path in that direction was hazy and seemingly full of obstacles. An echo of her mother's incessant worrying, she could only think- "What if I start that way, and then suddenly I find out it's completely blocked off? What if something happens to me along the way? What if I get lost? What if I get hurt?"

So every day, this girl would stand out in front of her house and look at the paths set out before her. She knew that sometimes two paths can eventually lead to the same thing, but of course she also was smart enough to know that you don't find that out for sure until you've already made your decision.

The second path that could lead her in the desired direction was easier to see, but in that clarity she saw the roughness of the road, the hiking, the struggling- and knew she would need patience and strength to go that way.

Then one morning, the girl had an idea. What if she could break the rules and make her own path? Cut through the woods in the generally right direction and just hope she was cunning and brave enough to make it. What would happen along the way? She had no idea. But at least when things happened, she could make her own decisions instead of sticking to a pre-set path.

You see, no matter which path she chose, she still didn't know what was going to happen and when things were going to happen. She'd never know how close or far she was until she got there. At least if she was making her own decisions, she could say she really did it. That the greatness of getting where she wanted to be was all her own doing, and no one else's.

----

I am so weird.

I'm also having issues with how mature people perceive me as being. For some reason, I somewhat get the impression that people still see me as.. a teenager or something. Maybe that's just the result of a certain state of mind I've had all my life in which I envision everyone I've known since I was a kid as much younger than they are.

But to be frank, I'm getting sick of it. SICK. BAH! I have no idea how to even express it at this point, really.

Just whatever you do, if you talk to me, don't talk down to me in any way... not that people do it intentionally... or at all, really... I'm just saying. I may launch into a "WHAT THE FUCK...?" rant. I realize I'm not the most responsible and mature person in the world, however I sometimes feel like some people don't give me enough credit. Er, that they underestimate me or something. Perhaps it's justified and I'm just fooling myself, as usual.

If so, then I have some work to do.

Until I figure that out, I'm going to bed.

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Unintentionally noble.- A person behaves with unintentional nobleness when he has accustomed himself to seek naught from others and always to give to them. ......

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War. Against war one can say: It makes the victor stupid, the vanquished malignant. In favor of war: Through both of these effects it barbarizes and thereby makes more natural; it is a sleep or a winter for culture, and man emerges from it stronger for good and evil. ......

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To live alone one must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle. Leaving out the third case: one must be both- a philosopher. ......

posted by To live alone one must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle. Leaving out the third case: one must be both- a philosopher. ...... @ 11/11/2005 12:56 PM CST

The danger of our culture.- We belong to a period of which the culture is in danger of being destroyed by the appliances of culture. ......

posted by The danger of our culture.- We belong to a period of which the culture is in danger of being destroyed by the appliances of culture. ...... @ 11/11/2005 10:18 AM CST

There are no moral phenomena at all, but only a moral interpretation of phenomena. ......

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posted by ......" target="new">Opinions and fish.-Possessing opinions is like possessing fish, assuming one has a fish pond. One has to go fishing and needs some luck- then one has one's own fish, one's own opinions. I am speaking of live opinions, of live fish. Others are satisfied if they own a cabinet of fossils- and in their heads, "convictions." ...... @ 11/11/2005 05:13 AM CST

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Today the man of knowledge might well feel like God become animal. ......

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How courageous people are won over.-Courageous people are persuaded to a course of action by representing it as more dangerous than it really is. ......

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If one has character one also has one's typical experience, which recurs repeatedly. ......

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posted by ......" target="new">My dog.-I have given a name to my pain and call it "dog": it is just as faithful, just as obtrusive and shameless, just as entertaining, just as clever as any other dog-and I can scold it and vent my bad moods on it, as others do with their dogs, servants, and wives. ...... @ 11/07/2005 10:54 PM CST

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Requisite for disputation.- He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter into the head of dispute. ......

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posted by How one tries to improve bad arguments.-Some people throw a bit of their personality after their bad arguments, as if that might straighten their paths and turn them into right and good arguments-just as a man in a bowling alley, after he has let go of the ball, still tries to direct it with gestures. ...... @ 11/03/2005 10:02 PM CST

Corruption. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. ......

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posted by In danger.- One is in greatest danger of being run over when one has just got out of the way of a carriage. ...... @ 11/03/2005 01:56 AM CST

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posted by Talents.- In such a highly developed humanity as the present, each individual naturally has access to many talents. Each has an inborn talent, but only in a few is that degree of toughness, endurance, and energy born and trained that he really becomes a talent, becomes what he is,- that is, that he discharges it in works and actions. ...... @ 11/02/2005 10:03 PM CST

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The privilege of greatness.- It is the privilege of greatness to confer intense happiness with insignificant gifts. ......

posted by The privilege of greatness.- It is the privilege of greatness to confer intense happiness with insignificant gifts. ...... @ 10/25/2005 11:23 AM CST

Sensuality often hastens the growth of love so much that the roots remain weak and are easily torn up. ......

posted by Sensuality often hastens the growth of love so much that the roots remain weak and are easily torn up. ...... @ 10/24/2005 04:31 PM CST

In our own wild nature we find the best recreation from our un-nature, from our spirituality. ......

posted by In our own wild nature we find the best recreation from our un-nature, from our spirituality. ...... @ 10/24/2005 12:42 PM CST

The privilege of greatness.- It is the privilege of greatness to confer intense happiness with insignificant gifts. ......

posted by The privilege of greatness.- It is the privilege of greatness to confer intense happiness with insignificant gifts. ...... @ 10/24/2005 08:52 AM CST

One is best punished for one's virtues. ......

posted by One is best punished for one's virtues. ...... @ 10/24/2005 05:34 AM CST

New struggles.- After Buddha was dead, his shadow was still shown for centuries in a cave- a tremendous, gruesome shadow. God is dead but given the way men are, there may still be caves for thousands of years in which his shadow will be shown.-And we-we still have to vanquish his shadow, too. ......

posted by New struggles.- After Buddha was dead, his shadow was still shown for centuries in a cave- a tremendous, gruesome shadow. God is dead but given the way men are, there may still be caves for thousands of years in which his shadow will be shown.-And we-we still have to vanquish his shadow, too. ...... @ 10/24/2005 02:16 AM CST

Jokes. A joke is the epigram on the death of a feeling. ......

posted by Jokes. A joke is the epigram on the death of a feeling. ...... @ 10/23/2005 11:00 PM CST

Keeping people waiting.- A sure way of exasperating people and of putting bad thoughts into their heads is to keep them waiting long. That makes them immoral. ......

posted by Keeping people waiting.- A sure way of exasperating people and of putting bad thoughts into their heads is to keep them waiting long. That makes them immoral. ...... @ 10/23/2005 07:34 PM CST

After a great victory-What is best about a great victory is that it rids the victor of fear of defeat. "Why not also lose for once?" he says to himself; "now that I am rich enough for that." ......

posted by ......" target="new">After a great victory-What is best about a great victory is that it rids the victor of fear of defeat. "Why not also lose for once?" he says to himself; "now that I am rich enough for that." ...... @ 10/23/2005 03:58 PM CST

Even the most courageous among us only rarely has the courage for that which he really knows. ......

posted by Even the most courageous among us only rarely has the courage for that which he really knows. ...... @ 10/23/2005 12:24 PM CST

Intellect and Morality.-One must have a good memory to be able to keep a given promise. One must have a strong power of imagination to be able to feel pity. So closely is morality bound to the goodness of the intellect. ......

posted by Intellect and Morality.-One must have a good memory to be able to keep a given promise. One must have a strong power of imagination to be able to feel pity. So closely is morality bound to the goodness of the intellect. ...... @ 10/22/2005 06:57 AM CST

The inclination to depreciate himself, to let himself be robbed, lied to, and taken advantage of, could the shame(modesty) of a god among men. ......

posted by The inclination to depreciate himself, to let himself be robbed, lied to, and taken advantage of, could the shame(modesty) of a god among men. ...... @ 10/22/2005 04:24 AM CST

Requisite for disputation.- He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter into the head of dispute. ......

posted by Requisite for disputation.- He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter into the head of dispute. ...... @ 10/21/2005 11:27 PM CST

Madness is rare in individuals-but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule. ......

posted by Madness is rare in individuals-but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule. ...... @ 10/21/2005 08:52 PM CST

Never Forget!- The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. ......

posted by Never Forget!- The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. ...... @ 10/21/2005 06:13 PM CST

Perhaps nobody yet has been truthful enough about what "truthfulness" is. ......

posted by ......" target="new">Perhaps nobody yet has been truthful enough about what "truthfulness" is. ...... @ 10/21/2005 03:31 PM CST

In the current.- Mighty waters sweep many stones and shrubs away with them; mighty spirits many foolish and confused minds. ......

posted by In the current.- Mighty waters sweep many stones and shrubs away with them; mighty spirits many foolish and confused minds. ...... @ 10/21/2005 12:41 PM CST

Tourists-They climb mountains like animals, stupid and sweating; one has forgotten to tell them that there are beautiful view on the way up. ......

posted by Tourists-They climb mountains like animals, stupid and sweating; one has forgotten to tell them that there are beautiful view on the way up. ...... @ 10/21/2005 09:29 AM CST

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posted by No Prescriptions @ 10/21/2005 05:09 AM CST

One begins to mistrust very clever people when they become embarrassed. ......

posted by One begins to mistrust very clever people when they become embarrassed. ...... @ 10/19/2005 08:05 AM CST

How Rhythm Beautifies.- Rhythm casts a veil over reality; it causes various artificiality's of speech and obscurities of thought; by the shadow it throws upon thought it sometimes conceals it, and sometimes brings it into prominence. As shadow is necessary to beauty, so the "dull" is necessary to lucidity. Art makes the aspect of life endurable by throwing over it the veil of obscure thought. ......

posted by ......" target="new">How Rhythm Beautifies.- Rhythm casts a veil over reality; it causes various artificiality's of speech and obscurities of thought; by the shadow it throws upon thought it sometimes conceals it, and sometimes brings it into prominence. As shadow is necessary to beauty, so the "dull" is necessary to lucidity. Art makes the aspect of life endurable by throwing over it the veil of obscure thought. ...... @ 10/19/2005 05:41 AM CST

Against embarrassment.-The best way to relieve and calm very embarrassed people is to give them decided praise. ......

posted by Against embarrassment.-The best way to relieve and calm very embarrassed people is to give them decided praise. ...... @ 10/19/2005 02:45 AM CST

The good four. Honest with ourselves and with whatever is friend to us; courageous toward the enemy; generous toward the vanquished; polite-always that is how the four cardinal virtues want us. ......

posted by The good four. Honest with ourselves and with whatever is friend to us; courageous toward the enemy; generous toward the vanquished; polite-always that is how the four cardinal virtues want us. ...... @ 10/19/2005 12:29 AM CST

Forbidden generosity.-There is not sufficient love and goodness in the world to permit us to give some of it away to imaginary beings. ......

posted by Forbidden generosity.-There is not sufficient love and goodness in the world to permit us to give some of it away to imaginary beings. ...... @ 10/18/2005 09:50 PM CST

A criminal is frequently not equal to his deed: he makes it smaller and slanders it. ......

posted by A criminal is frequently not equal to his deed: he makes it smaller and slanders it. ...... @ 10/18/2005 05:00 PM CST

Friends' Secrets.- Few people will not expose the private affairs of their friends when at a loss for a subject of conversation. ......

posted by Friends' Secrets.- Few people will not expose the private affairs of their friends when at a loss for a subject of conversation. ...... @ 10/18/2005 02:34 PM CST

Casting One's Skin.- The snake that cannot cast its skin perishes. So too with those minds which are prevented from changing their views: they cease to be minds. ......

posted by Casting One's Skin.- The snake that cannot cast its skin perishes. So too with those minds which are prevented from changing their views: they cease to be minds. ...... @ 10/18/2005 11:47 AM CST

Madness is rare in individuals-but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule. ......

posted by Madness is rare in individuals-but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule. ...... @ 10/17/2005 09:29 PM CST

Being deep and appearing deep.-Whoever knows he is deep, strives for clarity; whoever would like to appear deep to the crowd, strives for obscurity. For the crowd considers anything deep if only it cannot see to the bottom: the crown is so timid and afraid of going into the water. ......

posted by Being deep and appearing deep.-Whoever knows he is deep, strives for clarity; whoever would like to appear deep to the crowd, strives for obscurity. For the crowd considers anything deep if only it cannot see to the bottom: the crown is so timid and afraid of going into the water. ...... @ 10/17/2005 07:23 PM CST

Whoever reaches his ideal transcends it eo ipso. ......

posted by Whoever reaches his ideal transcends it eo ipso. ...... @ 10/17/2005 04:02 PM CST

How courageous people are won over.-Courageous people are persuaded to a course of action by representing it as more dangerous than it really is.---- ......

posted by How courageous people are won over.-Courageous people are persuaded to a course of action by representing it as more dangerous than it really is.---- ...... @ 10/17/2005 01:01 PM CST

One is most dishonest to one's god: he is not allowed to sin.---- ......

posted by One is most dishonest to one's god: he is not allowed to sin.---- ...... @ 10/17/2005 10:33 AM CST

Unintentionally noble.- A person behaves with unintentional nobleness when he has accustomed himself to seek naught from others and always to give to them.---- ......

posted by Unintentionally noble.- A person behaves with unintentional nobleness when he has accustomed himself to seek naught from others and always to give to them.---- ...... @ 10/17/2005 03:29 AM CST

Thinkers as stylists.- Most thinkers write badly, because they communicate not only their thoughts, but also the thinking of them.---- ......

posted by Thinkers as stylists.- Most thinkers write badly, because they communicate not only their thoughts, but also the thinking of them.---- ...... @ 10/17/2005 01:17 AM CST

The day's first thought.- The best way to begin a day well is to think, on awakening, whether we cannot give pleasure during the day to at least one person. If this could become a substitute for the religious habit of prayer our fellow-men would benefit by the change.---- ......

posted by The day's first thought.- The best way to begin a day well is to think, on awakening, whether we cannot give pleasure during the day to at least one person. If this could become a substitute for the religious habit of prayer our fellow-men would benefit by the change.---- ...... @ 10/16/2005 11:19 PM CST

"Knowledge for its own sake"-that is the last snare of morality; with that one becomes completely entangled in it once more.---- ......

posted by ......" target="new">"Knowledge for its own sake"-that is the last snare of morality; with that one becomes completely entangled in it once more.---- ...... @ 10/16/2005 09:23 PM CST

Malice is rare.- Most people are far too much occupied with themselves to be malicious.---- ......

posted by Malice is rare.- Most people are far too much occupied with themselves to be malicious.---- ...... @ 10/15/2005 10:06 PM CST

Life no argument.-We have fixed up a world for ourselves in which we can live- assuming bodies, lines, planes, causes and effects, motion and rest, form and content without these articles of faith, nobody now would endure life. But that does not mean that they have been proved. Life is no argument; the conditions of life could include error.---- ......

posted by Life no argument.-We have fixed up a world for ourselves in which we can live- assuming bodies, lines, planes, causes and effects, motion and rest, form and content without these articles of faith, nobody now would endure life. But that does not mean that they have been proved. Life is no argument; the conditions of life could include error.---- ...... @ 10/15/2005 08:25 PM CST

What does it matter if I remain right. I am much too right. And he who laughs best today will also laugh last.---- ......

posted by What does it matter if I remain right. I am much too right. And he who laughs best today will also laugh last.---- ...... @ 10/15/2005 05:53 PM CST

Making use of ebb and flow.- For the purpose of knowledge we must know how to make use of the inward current which draws us towards a thing, and also of the current which after a time draws us away from it.---- ......

posted by Making use of ebb and flow.- For the purpose of knowledge we must know how to make use of the inward current which draws us towards a thing, and also of the current which after a time draws us away from it.---- ...... @ 10/15/2005 0