Return to House on Haunted Hill

I wanted to like this movie. I wanted to love this movie. I was praying that although the idea of filming a sequel to a remake sounds ludicrous, maybe it was so crazy it would work.

As a general rule, I don't like remakes. Most are tackling films that were great to begin with and they usually fall terribly short of their goals. When they aren't making the exact same movie as before, they're tampering with key elements that completely change the original story, elements that were important to the success of that story. Get me started about the remake of THE HAUNTING, and you'll see what I mean.

The original HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL isn't exactly brilliant, but it's a favorite of mine for various reasons. I was skeptical of course when I heard they were remaking it, but since the original did have room for improvement I gave the remake a shot. To my surprise, I ended up really enjoying it. Although much of the original story had been changed, the characters and their relationships were still basically in tact. The changes that were made actually created a more interesting, scarier movie than the first.

So when I heard that they were doing a sequel, I was excited. I forgot to be wary though.

It was painful. The dialogue is horrible, the acting pathetic. The characters are shallow and underdeveloped-- and worse, they try to make up for that with one of the most embarrassing extras on the disc, the "character confessionals." Making it seem like the characters are being interviewed while in the house, they discuss their very obviously unscripted background, motives and opinions about the house. Whoever wrote this obviously never took a creative writing class, or they would have learned that you don't explain your characters to your audience, you *show* them.

Cliches abound, and not in an interesting way. They even changed the story-- again! This time, the change was a huge mistake. They took the movie in a different direction, and I was not along for the ride. I stood in the hallway saying, "But... no... you're supposed to go THIS way." One of my pet peeves is when movies take a story that speaks to the power of human evil, that demonstrates how people can be the scariest monsters of all, and tweaks it into a fantasy about ancient evil causing all the horror. When will they learn? Pointing and saying, "Here's the source of the evil! I found it! Now we know why this is happening!" makes it LESS SCARY. Especially when it doesn't make any sense.

If you can believe it, they even ripped off INDIANA JONES a little bit, in a completely laughable way. I was embarrassed for the people who made this movie, since they obviously have no shame.

The remake of HOUSE had so much going for it, compared to most remakes. They had a solid cast of very good actors, with a few delightful cameos. They took a story we already knew in a different direction that actually worked and intrigued the audience. They updated it in a believable way and gave us some pretty wild special effects and visuals-- the "darkness" aside, I wasn't crazy about that. The music they used was even really effective.

It just makes me sad that the sequel fell short. They tried to reveal everything without realizing that what they were showing us wasn't at all interesting.

This is probably the craziest thing I've ever said, but I really hope that somebody remakes this movie. It had so much potential, it literally pains me to see it fail.

Hostel Part II

I really wasn't a big fan of the first HOSTEL. It was okay, but in my mind it just wasn't a great movie. The plot is original and intriguing, I'll admit that. And I do enjoy my gore as much as the next girl. It was the beginning of the movie that really turned me off, so by the time we got into the good stuff I was praying the main characters would die quickly. Imagine my surprise when I discovered myself sitting in the theatre ready to watch HOSTEL PART II.

In this sequel, the plot of the original is played through again with a group of American girls going to school in Rome. They plan to take a trip to Prague, but are persuaded into traveling to Slovakia instead. As you might suspect they end up staying in a hostel, and are picked off one by one by the now very organized and very business-like club from the original. In PART II though, we also get to see what things are like from the perspective of the sick people who pay to kill the young travelers.

I wish I could say otherwise, but frankly I remain unimpressed. Prior to seeing the film myself I did read other reviews, so I was looking forward to the character development. It was definitely interesting, but it felt too shallow for me. And I didn't enjoy Heather Matarazzo's character at all, it felt too silly to me. They could have done so much more with both the girls and the killers. Their stereotypes were so obvious, and there was no subtlety to the symbolism. Not to spoil part of the movie, but the surviving girl might as well have had "FINAL GIRL" stamped on her forehead, and worn a t-shirt with a complete citation to Carol Clover on the front of it. It was so blatant that it half-ruined the ending for me.

Despite my criticism, it isn't a horrible movie. It's okay, but not great. It does explore female stereotypes, the effect that horrors inflicted upon women can have, and why women might be targets for that sort of violence. I thought the direction of the character development was good, it just needed more follow through. Honestly, as soon as the film ended I thought to myself, "That's it?" I wasn't expecting it to end when it did.

Those who were fans of the original HOSTEL will most likely enjoy PART II as well, especially for the fresh crop of victims and the peek into the minds of the killers. There are some really great scenes and what it attempts to do is at least interesting. But overall, I felt they could have done much more with the characters and the plot in a sequel such as this, which is really what I was expecting.

Ocean's Thirteen

In the past I've owned some pretty snobby ideas of what constituted good taste in film, among other things. Independent film, foreign flicks, unique cynical comedy. Opening up to a love of horror starts to destroy those ideals in a way, because of how much sludge you become exposed to... and how much you actually love to wallow in such filth. But it also eventually created space for me to appreciate a wider variety of genres, which is what led me to my surprising enjoyment of action, adventure, and eventually heist films like OCEAN'S TWELVE.

I saw OCEAN'S TWELVE in the theater and really enjoyed it. As I've learned in the past few months, that is not a popular opinion. Most people felt TWELVE was weaker than the first film (OCEAN'S ELEVEN). I eventually watched ELEVEN, and obviously liked it just as much. Looking back, I suppose there are some weak moments in TWELVE, but I love it so damn much that I really don't hold those weaknesses against it.

That said, I thought OCEAN'S THIRTEEN was absolutely wonderful. The two things that make this series so attractive to me are the visuals and the music. The shots are great, the sets are beautiful, and the color blows me away every time. The music in the previous two films has been a perfect complement to this particular kind of film, and THIRTEEN is no exception. I don't mean to gloss over the relationships and chemistry of not only the characters, but the actors themselves. Nor am I ignoring the brilliance of the plot-- there's an incredible attention to detail, and it keeps me delighted throughout the entire film. Those factors are just as influential when it comes to my opinion of the OCEAN'S series.

Regardless of my disagreement with other critics when it comes to the previous film, I echo their overwhelmingly positive response to OCEAN'S THIRTEEN. It's an amazing piece of work, and I can't wait to see it on DVD.